Man: Are you working for the paper or something?
Opossum: Yeah, actually I am here to cover bike week.
Man: Well, you should get a picture of this, I just got this done in there. (Proceeds to show opossum his new tattoo on his forearm).
Opossum: (Grimacing face). Ohhhh....ouch. I could never do that. (Looking at his tattoo covered arms). Does that hurt?
Man: Do you like to get spanked during sex? It is a good pain.
Opossum: (Stunned). oh dear.
Inside the tattoo shop:
Same man: When you are done taking pictures, I am going to take you out front and pick you out something nice. (referring to "choosing" a new tattoo for opossum).
Opossum: Ohhh...(polite laughter). I could never, I am too big of a baby.
Same man: Do you have a boyfriend?
Opossum: (More polite laughter) Noooo... (kicking oneself for being honest).
Same man: See...a tattoo will get you a boyfriend.
Opossum's thoughts: (I am sure not the possum of choice)
Owner in the same room: A tattoo will get you laid, am I right?
Same man: Oh yeah, a tattoo will get you laid.
Poor little Opossum.
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