Blind Date

Not the best video quality, but the content is priceless.

Favorite SNL clips!

OK here some of my favorite SNL clips... if any of you have any additions ADD UM ON! HOLLA

Opossum says: "Obviously this has been a favorite of mine."




I was just reminded of this because i just saw a big give away on ellen...no i wasn't watching a ellen, just flipping through while soccer was on commercial... ok, i was totally watching ellen

Don't know what's wrong with the sound on this





Totally using this when i get a dog


I'm on a 100mg dosage




my birthday IS only a few weeks away people...

Lost dog.

com'n now. it's pretty funny.

Cups...

So, I'm going to recall a story that is a few months old...
ANYWHO...
So a mother walks into Dicks Sporting Goods. Being the good natured fellow I am, I approached her. Fair enough... she was nice, friendly; but obviously confused... I asked her how I could assist her in her time of trouble... She brought up the topic i hated most... CUPS... Male penis protectors... YES, I was not happy. I had stocked the shelves full of the plastic pelvic armor just the day before! and now had to use my savvy of the testy protecties!
She told me her son was getting ready for baseball season...he needed a cup... OH BOY! Well, I politely showed her our large selection of member protection(didn't mean for that rhyme, but i kinda did) ANYWHO, she asked a few questions..."what are they made off?" "why the price difference?" "which one is the best?"... I didn't know the answer for any off them really, just the fact they keep you boys intact!
OOOOOKKKAAAAYYY, after all questions had been answered, the question came down to what is the right size. Waist size... cups are measured by waist size... the woman struggled... her words to me "Ken, I know he is not a large, I'm thinking a medium but probably a small... yeah a small should work" ME "Ma'am it goes by waist size..." HER "OHHH OK yeah I think a large should do, thanks for all you help" Yeah... at least he has his baseball career!!!

Absolutely uncomfortable.

Outside a tattoo parlor during Bike week:

Man: Are you working for the paper or something?
Opossum: Yeah, actually I am here to cover bike week.
Man: Well, you should get a picture of this, I just got this done in there. (Proceeds to show opossum his new tattoo on his forearm).
Opossum: (Grimacing face). Ohhhh....ouch. I could never do that. (Looking at his tattoo covered arms). Does that hurt?
Man: Do you like to get spanked during sex? It is a good pain.
Opossum: (Stunned). oh dear.

Inside the tattoo shop:

Same man: When you are done taking pictures, I am going to take you out front and pick you out something nice. (referring to "choosing" a new tattoo for opossum).
Opossum: Ohhh...(polite laughter). I could never, I am too big of a baby.
Same man: Do you have a boyfriend?
Opossum: (More polite laughter) Noooo... (kicking oneself for being honest).
Same man: See...a tattoo will get you a boyfriend.
Opossum's thoughts: (I am sure not the possum of choice)
Owner in the same room: A tattoo will get you laid, am I right?
Same man: Oh yeah, a tattoo will get you laid.

Poor little Opossum.

Preston facial hair progresion... or digression...

It is a slippery slope... A dangerous and unpredictable path we tread when one is lead by the mysterious draw to shape facial hair in any number of wacky patterns. I would like to present a facial hair pioneer. A man who stood to that challenge, stared it down and humped it into submission, i will be honoring him by posting a few of his facial creations... or creafacetions (whoa...) Mr. Preston, we all stand in awe.

opossum where art though?- well played, preston, well played.

Dwight Schrute.... you are a funny man

HAHA

What's hot for summer...

Hmm...cute sunglasses. Wait a minute...should he be?
In a media tent, you see a lot of characters, but he may have been my favorite. I was struck by the jeweled women's sunglasses at first, but as you scroll down, you may notice his soft jumpsuit. It wouldn't so bad if it were 65 degrees or cooler, but considering it was 95 with 100% humidity, I had a problem with this. A large problem. I couldn't help but notice that he was slightly tucked in for the day if you know what I mean. At least his ankles were cool. He continued to write his sports stories with his purple pen the rest of the day without changing once.

Oh and just when you think I couldn't wedge anything else into the story...he wore the same outfit, next day. A sticky situation indeed.

I love how his pants seem to be getting sucked into his booty... it seems as though there is some kind of velvet hungry monster residing in his bum. LOVE the fact that his pants are just slightly tugged above his cankles, revealing the velcro keds he 's had since he was in high school (circa 1976)

ol'evil eye

Priceless.

Objectives.